New Beginnings and Fear

written by Elizabeth Dotterer, Artist

I'm getting ready to start my first artwork series. I have 9-11"x14" pristine white panels staring at me like a new beginning. In a way it's comforting knowing there will be common elements to all of them, and I don't have to grab so far for creative inspiration. But, there's also the fear of creating 9 similar pieces that all still need to be different but coherent with each other.

I believe the threshold to new beginnings is found on the other side of fear. If we can admit it and name it, then Love can rush in and conquer it. So...I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the first one because it guides the next 8. I'm afraid I can't make 9 good panels in a row. I'm afraid I'm going to share the journey, and it's not going to go where I want it to, and I'm going to get stuck in ugly in front of all of you.

So what am I really afraid of?? I'm afraid the Holy Spirit will not walk with me and guide me. I'm afraid I want to be an artist, and God won't honor it. And at the depth of it all, I'm afraid He will leave me all alone.

In these 9 panels, I pray for a deeper revelation of God's unswerving faithfulness, of His overwhelming loving-kindness, and an unshakable heart-knowing of my safety under His wings.

Here's to new beginnings on the other side of fear.